Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Our Bodies...

... are pretty freaking COMPLICATED!

So in the aspect of full disclosure the past week has been really rough with my body and some things that are happening and receiving some potentially life changing news yesterday for the doctors is going to lead to another two weeks if not more of dealing with same thoughts, feelings and panics.

But with all that happening let's just say that staying on track, healthy eating and exercise isn't working.  However, the ice cream flurry thing I had for diner last night was perfect. That's it.  That's all I had for dinner. I was perfectly okay with it.  I needed just one thing to make me feel like I was in control of the choices I was making and able to enjoy the things I could enjoy. Sometimes I feel like we need to have these moments.  Do they need to be regular occurrences? Nope.

Today I got back on track ... sort of.  It took me a bit to get out of the funk I was in.  I realized that regardless of what's happening I don't have control over any of it and I still need to just so my thing.  My thing is getting fit.  Now more then ever...

I read some of my book, worked on my notes, cooked and cleaned and then watched mindless TV.

Friday, July 8, 2016


I finally got my header done and put up.  I went simple and I went kid like.  I honestly feel that as adults we forget how to live and how to learn like kids do.  We need to spend more time removing the stereotypes and the ridiculous beliefs we have for no good reason and just get back to LIVING.

I'm currently reading two books.

The first one is: 

The Compound Effect - Jumpstart your income, your life,  your success by Darren Hardy.

This has been a great book so far and just in night one I got halfway through! A lot of hmmms .. and ah has were said so far -- it's all really relatively simple -- so why are we not doing it?  
SideNote: I do need to thank my new friend Nikki for this -- she posted she was reading it and I was like SCORE! She's doing an amazing and kick a$$ job with her journey so far -- make sure to check her out. 

This is where the inspiration for my tagline came from ... Small Steps. Every Day. #boom #mindblown

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” 
“The (Complete) Formula for Getting Lucky: Preparation (personal growth) + Attitude (belief/mindset) + Opportunity (a good thing coming your way) + Action (doing something about it) = Luck” 
“The real cost of a four-dollar-a-day coffee habit over 20 years is $51,833.79. That’s the power of the Compound Effect.”

The other book:

All I Really Need to Know I Learned In Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum

This is where the inspiration for my header overall design came from. 

Excerpts from this book: 

“You may never have proof of your importance but you are more important than you think. There are always those who couldn’t do without you. The rub is that you don’t always know who.” 
“It doesn’t matter what you say you believe - it only matters what you do.” 
“These are the things I learned (in Kindergarten):
1. Share everything.2. Play fair.3. Don't hit people.4. Put thngs back where you found them.5. CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS.6. Don't take things that aren't yours.7. Say you're SORRY when you HURT somebody.8. Wash your hands before you eat.9. Flush.10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.11. Live a balanced life - learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some.12. Take a nap every afternoon.13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Stryrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.15. Goldfish and hamster and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first workd you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.” 
So you see... it's all fairly simple.  


Monday, June 27, 2016

If it was easy.....

I didn't plan for my Day 22 to be my last blog post.  In fact I had every intention of giving myself a week and starting again on level 2.  

But reality struck and it's easy to fall back to being a victim.  

It's easy to let the sugar take hold for one day ... because it takes over for far more then one day.  The truth is for the last month my life has been one big spiral.  

A spiral of confusion not only just in what I choose to fuel my body with but what I also chose to decide for paths in every other facet.  It's amazing how changing one thing makes a domino effect in everything else.  I'm not always sure it's a good thing but at times it just needs to be done.  I know it may appear that I'm talking in code for some stuff ... and I'm sorry for that. 

Food is my drug. My weakness. My one night stand. My love.  

That doesn't go away in 21 days.  Is 21 days enough to make it a habit? Sure. That's been proven. However, the real issue is the mind. The mind takes far more then 21 days.... FAR more.  The roller coaster ride I've experienced that was propelled from the changed habits of food could compare to anything Six Flags or Busch Gardens could create. It's fun, it's challenging but more then anything it's EXHAUSTING.  Can I continue? Can't I get back in that seat and keep the ride going? Sure -- I guess I could -- far worse off people then me have without a thought. Do I want to? No... The gears that put that roller coaster in motion are missing. 

Everything is changing.  My life, my work, my love for photography, my sport, my friends, my family and even my home (wherever that truly is) ... it's all too much -- I need my constant.

My constant is food.  
My constant is my weakness. 
My constant is my devil. 

I'm down to 297 days to reach my first goal. Is it stressful to have that date hanging over my head? Yes. Should I? Probably not. Will I? Absolutely. 

I need a break. 

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Day 22 - The End.

I’m not really sure what is supposed to happen today.  It is day 22. I’ve been 21 days of no sugar, no soda and no carbs.  If you had told me 23 days ago I would have made it this far I would have told you no way.  The same answer would have come every day for the next week following.  However, here I sit looking back at a day that seems so far removed and experiencing a day I’ve only dreamed of. It’s true that it takes 3 weeks for things to happen in your body.  You see, I was a soda addict. A sugar addict. A food addict.  I’m not going to claim that I am miraculously cured after only 21 days or 28,000 minutes or even more detailed, 1,814,400 seconds but what I have learned has been life changing.

I was so excited when I woke up because I did it.  I finished something for a change and now I was “free”.  I was free to have whatever I wanted. I mean … that’s what happens right?  A detox is meant to cleanse the body so that you can start over?  What I didn’t realize, even though I should have, is that it is not really the case or as simple as that. However, I woke up and weighed myself (I’ll get to this in a bit) and headed straight to IHOP for my most favorite breakfast of all time, the Double Chocolate Chip Pancakes with Whipped Cream! My mouth was salivating at the thought all the way there.

I sit down and immediately order my meal (time restraint as I headed to work) and I had this weird pang of guilt…like I was cheating.  But I’m not. IT IS DAY 22! I told my conscious to calm down and when they got here I was all but READY to dive in … I couldn’t wait.
The first bite was HEAVEN.  I savored and I chewed, in fact it’s probably the best chewed piece of food ever – I didn’t want to let it go! I wanted to just shove it all in my mouth but I forced myself to go slow and to enjoy each and every bite. About half way through though I started to feel funny.  I started to get random and weird pangs in my stomach.  I put my fork down and drank some water and thought to myself I just need to let it settle – it’s a lot for my stomach at one time. I tried to eat some more – I mean I was only half way through! After a few more bites it just wasn’t going to happen.  My heart started racing, my stomach hurt, I was immediately bloated and just felt nauseous. Well this isn’t fun I thought to myself.

I was sad.

Eating is a very emotional process. Especially when your body, your mind and your heart don’t all agree on how it should feel. I really and truly don’t know how to feel right now.  I know that part of me should be happy that my body is reacting like this to chocolate and sweets yet it’s all I’ve known for 35 years so I’m sad. I’m sad to let it go even though it’s what needs to happen.   

I’m going to give myself a week or so break. I’m not going to blow it and force all this bad stuff on me, however, I am going to relax a bit on my eating. Starting probably around June 1st or so I’ll go another round this time moving up to Level 2 of the program which is a bit more restrictive and add in the exercise daily.

So are you ready to know how much I lost in 21 days?  I lost 18.5 pounds. Just under a pound a day.  I mean that’s amazing right?!?  Mostly it’s just fluid loss and the body reacting which won’t happen every time but it’s a great start to hopefully keep me going! 

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

2 days ...

I'm down to two days left ... thinking back do day 1 I never thought I'd reach this point of the 21 days ... I thought it was SO far away and I would for sure fail -- I mean I always do right? But nope ... I haven't -- at least that I know of? 

However, today is by far my worst day.  I feel like crap -- didn't want to get out of bed - random sharp pains in my stomach, and insanely moody and cranky. So my guess is that my "TOM" is probably happening and my body is all like we don't know what to do -- so this should be a fun experience.

I made salmon patties last night for the first time and they were really good. I was pretty proud of myself.  I made quite the mess making them so clean up rather sucked but they were good -- far better then just the chicken or salads I feel like I've been eating forever. It was a nice change.  I can't remember ever having salmon before so maybe my body is not fond of them? I guess I'll find out tonight when I heat up some leftovers! 

This has been a crazy 19 days and its taught me that I can say no and I can other alternatives and I've learned to feed my body not my brain or my heart. 

With that said.  Thursday morning  you better believe I am having some pancakes! Defeats the purpose probably but I also know I can't deprive myself forever.. so pancakes, chocolate ones, I will be having... and then i'll reset again.  Maybe i'll get sick and I'll know for sure!  

Friday, May 13, 2016

Oye the pain....

Let's talk about these abdominal pains I'm experiencing! Oye vey... Okay well maybe we don't really need to talk about them but let me clue you in -- they are pretty rough today! My poor body what have I done to you... 

I haven't really been feeling all that well the past few days -- I feel like I'm in some kind of funk right now -- and i'm not sure if it's nutrition based or not.  I haven't been sleeping well that much I know and I pulled a muscle in my neck and my sciatic has flared up.  Tonight I plan on stopping to pick up some pain nighttime help you sleep meds to see if I can kill two birds with one stone -- get some sleep and feel better!  Tomorrow I want to get signed back up at the gym and get in a good workout.  I love to walk outside at my local park but it's getting too hot out for that and the park closes at 8pm which is silly because they sun is barely even setting yet! A lot of outside time wasted... plus it doesn't' even open till 8am! 

Working tomorrow night at the track -- going a bit later though so i'm not there all dang day because it will be hot and then Sunday I'm not sure what my plans are -- road trip maybe? We will see how late I'm out on Saturday!

However, while I was laying in bed last night dreaming of a huge brownie sundae I realized the hashtag I'm going to adopt.. #fitbythirtysix.  Yes I'm 35 now and by my next birthday I want to be "fit" ... whatever "fit" will mean :)  

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Cross Flag are up!

Well Well Well ... I've made it to the end of day 11 which means I'm half way (or over half way if you want to get technical :) ) ... and I'm still on track! Unreal isn't it?  Well...it is for me -- I'm the girl that doesn't ever seem to finish anything.  

I've done fairly well I've had a few rough times but not really "days" ... just moments ... but i've been able to use tools expressed to me to overcome them.  I was close yesterday to having to start back at day 1 if I was honest with myself -- and you -- whoever "you" are ... but it worked out that I didn't have to worry about anything. One of God's great miracles in helping me stay on task. 

I've had company here for the last two days and my schedule has been off and my water drinking way down... the old in me wanted to weigh this morning after they left ... the new in me said NO WAY --- I'm probably bloated and whatnot from the off-routine and I knew if I saw a number on the scale that I wasn't thinking it would completely derail me.  The scale stayed in the cupboard. Another NSV for me.  

However, I might try on the outfit I tried on day 1 tomorrow morning when I wake --- JUST to see how it fits :) That can't really hurt right? Eh ... 

I'm finding myself insanely bored with food choices right now -- mostly just due to my lack of ability (and lets' be honest - motivation) to cook and prepare in the kitchen.  I did go grocery shopping tonight and everything in my cart was 21DSD approved... so I guess I gotta do something with it all now :) 

One more full week and then it's on the downward slope! This has been an amazing eye opening experience for me!!