Wednesday, April 27, 2016

ROCK. BOTTOM.

We all have that one excuse.  

That one thing that makes what we are experiencing not THAT bad because we haven't reached that point?  When we reach that point it will finally be THAT bad --- but we aren't there yet so no need to panic. 

HOWEVER, when you do in fact reach THAT point ... life crumbles ... the walls close in ... the floor fades away.  There are no more excuses.  No more "but I haven't"(s)....

This point came to me last night.  Growing up I always thought that 300 pounds was a ridiculous number to weigh ... and that I would NEVER reach that point. Other people yes but me? No. Sure, I was overweight - in fact i'm not sure if I've ever actually BEEN a healthy weight ... but I digress.  The last few months I've been feeling miserable, experienced incredible swelling in my body/legs/feet daily, mood swings and overall discontentment with life, how I look to myself and others as well as how I feel. 

I stepped on the scale. 

Yes, I know I did it at night and we should never step on the scale at night -- they say -- who ever they are...

What did it read? OVER the dreaded number... 302 pounds!!! I was devastated and already in an emotional and sleep deprived state from the burning the candle at both ends I've been doing recently, I collapsed to the floor in very dramatic fashion like you see in the movies and had the meltdown --- sliding down the wall and all.  Thankfully, I live alone. 

After a good 30 minutes of a pity party I started to scroll through facebook -- what else is there to do? At this point I came across a post from a very dear friend who I love more then words could say or more then he probably knows at this point.  It was his TWO year anniversary in which he made his dramatic life change. I don't know how much he's lost -- I have to remember to ask -- but it's over 100 pounds. He looks FANTASTIC -- lets' repeat that -- F A N T A S T I C!  I am a firm believer in signs. That was my sign.  We started talking and he told me what he did to start -- a very simple 21 days. He was just as addicted as I am to the soda, sugar and carbs -- we would share meals a lot of similar findings so I know. (P.S. I wish we lived closer!) So finally I thought to myself, heck if he could do it and survive so can I.  His excitement in telling me about the program and his journey has been infectious.  I will not lie.  However.... 

I STILL HAD EXCUSES! 

Sure I said. I would love to and I will -- but right now isn't the right time.  I have a busy month coming up, I just went grocery shopping, my budget is tight, etc... they went on all night.  He listened to me and just would gently guide me back to basics of the program.  But still I went to bed thinking to myself I need another month. I need to prepare. I need I need I need.... 

Woke up today -- made breakfast and packed my lunch and at lunch I unpacked my bag and set my can of diet coke I brought in front of me and also got a glass of water.  I challenged myself to always choose the water... and you know what?  I did! I put the can of coke back in my bag and back into the fridge when lunch was done. 

NSV #1 done. 

It was at that moment that I realized I no longer have excuses.  So what if I have a stacked may -- so what if I spent $20 bucks in groceries on junk on the way home last night ... I STILL DON'T NEED IT!!! Whether it's now or a month from now -- it's just making it harder on myself. 

So tonight I read the program, make my list, take my pictures, do my measurements as best I can myself and start tomorrow. 

April 28th, 2016 the day I start to BUILD BRENDA! 

21 Day Sugar Detox here I come! 

Lord help me to still have a job and friends when this is over.... wish me luck -- it's about to get interesting.







No comments:

Post a Comment