Thursday, May 19, 2016

Day 22 - The End.

I’m not really sure what is supposed to happen today.  It is day 22. I’ve been 21 days of no sugar, no soda and no carbs.  If you had told me 23 days ago I would have made it this far I would have told you no way.  The same answer would have come every day for the next week following.  However, here I sit looking back at a day that seems so far removed and experiencing a day I’ve only dreamed of. It’s true that it takes 3 weeks for things to happen in your body.  You see, I was a soda addict. A sugar addict. A food addict.  I’m not going to claim that I am miraculously cured after only 21 days or 28,000 minutes or even more detailed, 1,814,400 seconds but what I have learned has been life changing.

I was so excited when I woke up because I did it.  I finished something for a change and now I was “free”.  I was free to have whatever I wanted. I mean … that’s what happens right?  A detox is meant to cleanse the body so that you can start over?  What I didn’t realize, even though I should have, is that it is not really the case or as simple as that. However, I woke up and weighed myself (I’ll get to this in a bit) and headed straight to IHOP for my most favorite breakfast of all time, the Double Chocolate Chip Pancakes with Whipped Cream! My mouth was salivating at the thought all the way there.

I sit down and immediately order my meal (time restraint as I headed to work) and I had this weird pang of guilt…like I was cheating.  But I’m not. IT IS DAY 22! I told my conscious to calm down and when they got here I was all but READY to dive in … I couldn’t wait.
The first bite was HEAVEN.  I savored and I chewed, in fact it’s probably the best chewed piece of food ever – I didn’t want to let it go! I wanted to just shove it all in my mouth but I forced myself to go slow and to enjoy each and every bite. About half way through though I started to feel funny.  I started to get random and weird pangs in my stomach.  I put my fork down and drank some water and thought to myself I just need to let it settle – it’s a lot for my stomach at one time. I tried to eat some more – I mean I was only half way through! After a few more bites it just wasn’t going to happen.  My heart started racing, my stomach hurt, I was immediately bloated and just felt nauseous. Well this isn’t fun I thought to myself.

I was sad.

Eating is a very emotional process. Especially when your body, your mind and your heart don’t all agree on how it should feel. I really and truly don’t know how to feel right now.  I know that part of me should be happy that my body is reacting like this to chocolate and sweets yet it’s all I’ve known for 35 years so I’m sad. I’m sad to let it go even though it’s what needs to happen.   

I’m going to give myself a week or so break. I’m not going to blow it and force all this bad stuff on me, however, I am going to relax a bit on my eating. Starting probably around June 1st or so I’ll go another round this time moving up to Level 2 of the program which is a bit more restrictive and add in the exercise daily.

So are you ready to know how much I lost in 21 days?  I lost 18.5 pounds. Just under a pound a day.  I mean that’s amazing right?!?  Mostly it’s just fluid loss and the body reacting which won’t happen every time but it’s a great start to hopefully keep me going! 

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

2 days ...

I'm down to two days left ... thinking back do day 1 I never thought I'd reach this point of the 21 days ... I thought it was SO far away and I would for sure fail -- I mean I always do right? But nope ... I haven't -- at least that I know of? 

However, today is by far my worst day.  I feel like crap -- didn't want to get out of bed - random sharp pains in my stomach, and insanely moody and cranky. So my guess is that my "TOM" is probably happening and my body is all like we don't know what to do -- so this should be a fun experience.

I made salmon patties last night for the first time and they were really good. I was pretty proud of myself.  I made quite the mess making them so clean up rather sucked but they were good -- far better then just the chicken or salads I feel like I've been eating forever. It was a nice change.  I can't remember ever having salmon before so maybe my body is not fond of them? I guess I'll find out tonight when I heat up some leftovers! 

This has been a crazy 19 days and its taught me that I can say no and I can other alternatives and I've learned to feed my body not my brain or my heart. 

With that said.  Thursday morning  you better believe I am having some pancakes! Defeats the purpose probably but I also know I can't deprive myself forever.. so pancakes, chocolate ones, I will be having... and then i'll reset again.  Maybe i'll get sick and I'll know for sure!  

Friday, May 13, 2016

Oye the pain....

Let's talk about these abdominal pains I'm experiencing! Oye vey... Okay well maybe we don't really need to talk about them but let me clue you in -- they are pretty rough today! My poor body what have I done to you... 

I haven't really been feeling all that well the past few days -- I feel like I'm in some kind of funk right now -- and i'm not sure if it's nutrition based or not.  I haven't been sleeping well that much I know and I pulled a muscle in my neck and my sciatic has flared up.  Tonight I plan on stopping to pick up some pain nighttime help you sleep meds to see if I can kill two birds with one stone -- get some sleep and feel better!  Tomorrow I want to get signed back up at the gym and get in a good workout.  I love to walk outside at my local park but it's getting too hot out for that and the park closes at 8pm which is silly because they sun is barely even setting yet! A lot of outside time wasted... plus it doesn't' even open till 8am! 

Working tomorrow night at the track -- going a bit later though so i'm not there all dang day because it will be hot and then Sunday I'm not sure what my plans are -- road trip maybe? We will see how late I'm out on Saturday!

However, while I was laying in bed last night dreaming of a huge brownie sundae I realized the hashtag I'm going to adopt.. #fitbythirtysix.  Yes I'm 35 now and by my next birthday I want to be "fit" ... whatever "fit" will mean :)  

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Cross Flag are up!

Well Well Well ... I've made it to the end of day 11 which means I'm half way (or over half way if you want to get technical :) ) ... and I'm still on track! Unreal isn't it? is for me -- I'm the girl that doesn't ever seem to finish anything.  

I've done fairly well I've had a few rough times but not really "days" ... just moments ... but i've been able to use tools expressed to me to overcome them.  I was close yesterday to having to start back at day 1 if I was honest with myself -- and you -- whoever "you" are ... but it worked out that I didn't have to worry about anything. One of God's great miracles in helping me stay on task. 

I've had company here for the last two days and my schedule has been off and my water drinking way down... the old in me wanted to weigh this morning after they left ... the new in me said NO WAY --- I'm probably bloated and whatnot from the off-routine and I knew if I saw a number on the scale that I wasn't thinking it would completely derail me.  The scale stayed in the cupboard. Another NSV for me.  

However, I might try on the outfit I tried on day 1 tomorrow morning when I wake --- JUST to see how it fits :) That can't really hurt right? Eh ... 

I'm finding myself insanely bored with food choices right now -- mostly just due to my lack of ability (and lets' be honest - motivation) to cook and prepare in the kitchen.  I did go grocery shopping tonight and everything in my cart was 21DSD approved... so I guess I gotta do something with it all now :) 

One more full week and then it's on the downward slope! This has been an amazing eye opening experience for me!! 

Thursday, May 5, 2016


When you don't know what to write... I mean not like writers' block but it's impossible to put into words how i'm feeling right now.  I've been up since 5am and haven't stopped and don't feel like I'm really going to either.  This energy is amazing! I almost hate that 75% of all of my jobs are sitting down ... I need to rectify that -- I will be looking into a solution asap! 

MUST keep moving... 

I've already got in more steps today then I used to get in an entire day ... like WOW! 

Truly. Amazing. 

Still on plan 100% 

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Working on day 7....

Day 7. 

I never thought I'd get here to be honest.  On Day 1 I just focused on getting to Day 2 and the same when Day 2 came ... I focused on just getting to Day 3. 

However, here I am chilling on Day 7. I don't really have a headache as much as I have a "heavy" feeling in my head.  I'm not sure what it is but my neck is tired of holding it up LOL Maybe my brain is just busy working overtime trying to make up for all the "crap" it's no longer getting. I'm still tired -- so very tired but I'm trying to allow my body to rest during this phase. To not push it to the max and thankfully my schedule for the most part is allowing it -- which I'm grateful for. Focus I find is still up and down -- sometimes I have great concentration and other times i'm like hey look --- squirrel! Again, I have to believe this is all part of the process of the body working through it's own issues.  It will all come back to me better then ever -- I believe it. 

It's amazing as I sit here to think of the last week and how my "life" didn't change because I made different choices, my friends didn't desert me because I said " No Thank you " and how my co-workers have been amazing at supporting me and understanding when I yawn, snap at them or cry randomly ... You can't do it alone... or at least me for sure! 

I've decided that I am no longer going to step on the scale until day 22. Within the first few days it moved and moved fast as the water/fluid dropped off and I was like all ya whooo I got this. Then for a day or two it didn't move at all and I started to panic ... I thought to myself oh no... what is happening why isn't it moving ... what is going on? All while my clothes are still fitting better... and i'm feeling better.  

So for the next two weeks my main focus is going to be achieving 70,000 steps in a 7 day period and eating on my plan every day. Two simple goals. and 14 days from now we will see where they have taken me. 

Monday, May 2, 2016

Aches, Pains and Exhaustion.... YUP it's here!

I've heard it, I've read about it and I've dreaded it.  

The point in which you feel like your body is giving up. Luckily tonight when I get home from work I don't HAVE to do much -- sure there is stuff I should be doing so if the weather is cooperative I plan on going for my walk, getting in my steps and cooking up a new meal and then vegging out for the rest of the night and maybe even going to bed early -- I have to get past the "I'm gonna miss something" if I go to bed early deal I suffer from.  I need to give my body the rest it needs... 

Yesterday was a great day! I had amazing energy (Not sure where it all went) I got my house all cleaned, my work all done and one of my best friends who I love dearly surprised me by driving oh probably 5 hours out of his way just to take me lunch. The sun came out, the food was great and the company was perfect.  Goodbyes suck - probably more for me then him. 

However, we ended up eating lunch at Hickory Tavern -- I love their food.  Or well I did before -- I was bound to find something to eat that I was going to choose for myself. He wanted to make sure I was up for the challenge and was super supportive on helping me find something that fit what I've been working on -- of course that didn't stop him from getting the fried shrimp poor boy with tater tots and a soda but it didn't' even bother me -- I got him to try on of my Brussels sprouts so that was enough for me :) especially when it was followed by a not so bad he could work with it after adamantly saying he didn't like them.... Success! 

Here are some photos of our lunches.  I got the Grilled chicken with a butter and garlic sauce, mushrooms and onions with a side of steamed broccoli and cheese along with the Brussels sprouts and bacon with the balsamic flavoring. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. The End. 

After he said goodbye I did some work and then decided I was getting in my steps and headed to the park behind my apartment building.  I got a good 2 mile walk in -- I wasn't fast I was just focusing more on moving and will be for awhile but I did it in about 40 minutes... I'm not gonna be setting any records anytime soon but it's better then sitting on my couch or my computer. 

I was told that no matter what I did to make sure that I sweat.  Well thanks to mother nature and the impending thunderstorm that was looming sweating wasn't a problem as the humidity level was ridiculous. 

One awesome thing I did see at this park (Which is awesome by the way -- covered table areas, adult swings, two play grounds, a lake, basketball courts, shuffle board and Frisbee Golf) was kids playing in NOT out causing trouble, NOT sitting at home playing video games -- they were playing intense pick up games of basketball on all courts...They were fun to watch as I walked by a couple times in my walk. 

I just got done lunch in which I wasn't even remotely hungry for but still ate it to keep myself going and only a few more hours then it's homeward bound! I got lots to do but like I said ... not sure I'm going to do any of it -- and I'll be okay with that! 

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Small Changes are happening keeping my eyes open..

The past few days have been stressful yet AMAZING. 

This was the first weekend that I had to go to the race track and not only one race track but two race tracks, two states all in one day. An EPIC day the went as smoothly as it could with the only interruption being in mother nature later at night shortening the event on the second event.  I spent Friday night planning and preparing and packing.  I was that person that got up at 430am and was out the door by 515am headed to the first race track with a cooler packed in hand.  In it was full of plenty of meals and snacks that were real and healthy and plenty of water.  

It was a bit weird to be eating beans, rice, chicken, cheese and spaghetti squash at the race track... 

but for the first time in my life I DIDN'T CARE!  I sat there in the middle of everything that was happening around me and ate my food with a smile on my face knowing that the choice was mine.  I stayed away from the chicken bisquits
 providing that they were free for the taking, stayed away from the restaurant full of fried foods and snacks even though I had $10 gift certificate and also stayed away from all the homemade snacks and soda that was provided by the many people. 

At the end of the day I had a headache and was annoyed at life -- but that was part of the process and I knew that. 

It's amazing what a great support system will do even if it's only one or two people -- it's who that matters.  You have to TRUST them ... I never got it before.  You have to know that "they" know you... they know what to expect and they know how you'll react.  It's the only way -- I never got it before. Thank you to my support system. 

I have my fitbit that one of my bff's got me for Christmas and I never really paid it any attention -- now I find myself really looking forward that to that random surprise vibration jolt on my wrist. It may only be 10,000 steps but it's twice as many as before and sometimes 3x as many and you know what -- i'm moving.  Moving is good. 

What it also does is keep track of the sleeping rhythms and movements... I've started out with my sleep pattern often previously looking like this (the lines measure the number of time I move or wake up) 

now they look like this .... 

a solid hours of no movement -- meaning i'm sleeping better. The best part?  I'm actually waking up and feeling refreshed and amazing! 

I also almost lost my ring yesterday when i was talking to someone and pointing ... that's never happened and in fact usually I don't even wear it because it tends to be too tight and uncomfortable.  Yet another change, my fingers are no longer swollen like they have been for as long as I can remember. 

Yet another thing is from when I weigh'd myself a few days ago I am down exactly 12 pounds... that's RIDICULOUS -- I mean i'm sure it's all fluid weight that my body was holding ... but at the same time HOLY SMOKES! That's a lot ... and in a short time -- which explains why my need to invest in Charmin needs to happen :) 

"You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it"